I never use this anymore but I need to let all this anger out. I’m fucking fed up. So many people think its okay to get involved in things which don’t concern them. People are trying to tell me what to do and are putting in lots of useless inputs to my life which isn’t needed at all. I feel so guilty. I’ve been told that I’m selfish and uncaring. I’ve been called heartless, ugly, selfish and unloyal. I’ve been told that I treat everyone like ahit and cause problems. Someone has just told me a plan to use for when I want to kill myself, they assured me it will work. Well, maybe in the next day or two we’ll see if it works. I fucking hope it does cause I don’t want to be alive anymore.
I feel so fake. Very few people know the real me. People only ever usually get to see the person I pretend to be. People think I’m this brave, happy, care free girl who doesn’t give a shit but really I’n terrified and miserable. Nobody could love the real me and so I put up barriers to protect myself. The real me is a monster. Ugh.